Pearlish3 min read
In Japan, pearls are one of the few pieces of jewelry that are welcome at a funeral or memorial service. Many Japanese people see pearls as a symbol of tears, and their quiet glow suits a day of mourning. You do need to follow a few rules.
Key takeaways
- Pearls are accepted at Japanese funerals and memorial services. Wear one strand, never two.
- Choose white, gray or black pearls, about 7–8mm, on a necklace that sits at the collarbone (40–45cm).
- Pair it with small single-pearl studs. Going without jewelry is also correct.
Contents
The basics at a glance
| Wear | Avoid | |
|---|---|---|
| Strands | One single strand | Double or triple strands |
| Color | White, gray or black | Pink, gold or bright colors |
| Size | About 7–8mm | Very large pearls |
| Length | About 40–45cm, at the collarbone | Long necklaces |
| Shape | Round | Baroque or unusual shapes |
| Earrings | Single-pearl studs | Long or swinging drops |
| Metal | Silver-tone or white metal | Shiny yellow gold |
One strand only
Japanese mourners avoid double strands, because layered pearls suggest that sad events will "overlap" and happen again. Wear one strand.
Color: white, gray or black
White pearls are the most common and suit any service. Gray and black pearls, Tahitian pearls included, are correct as well and look calm. Leave pink or gold-toned pearls at home, since they look festive.
Size and length
About 7–8mm is the usual size. Larger pearls can look showy. Choose a necklace that sits at the collarbone, around 40–45cm. Long necklaces swing as you bow and draw attention.
Earrings and other jewelry
Small single-pearl studs match a funeral necklace well. Avoid earrings that dangle. Apart from a wedding ring, take off other rings and anything that sparkles, like a bracelet or a dressy watch.
Going without jewelry
You can skip jewelry entirely and still follow etiquette. Pearls are optional. At a wake (通夜, tsuya), some people wear only pearl studs or nothing at all.
Other formal occasions
The same white single strand works for many formal events in Japan: memorial services, school entrance and graduation ceremonies, and formal dinners. Buy one classic strand and you will wear it for years. At weddings and other celebrations, you have more freedom. See Pearls for Weddings.
A strand for formal occasions
Our Fancy Pearl Necklace Short is a 40cm single strand of white freshwater pearls with a silver-tone clasp. It sits at the collarbone, so you can wear it to memorial services, school ceremonies and formal dinners. To compare pearl types, read Akoya vs. Freshwater Pearls.
